Mma Ramotswe meets Dirk Gently

"Good day. I am Mma Ramotswe."
She extends her hand. Dirk shakes it heartily.
"Good evening, Mma Ramotswe. I am on the case of Mrs Jenkin's lost cat."
Mma Ramotswe glances at her watch.
"It's only eleven o'clock. Hardly evening, Mr..."
"Gently. And yes, Mma Ramotswe, your watch would tell you that it is eleven o'clock. Yet I believe that in Moscow it is exactly seven in the evening."
Mma Ramotswe eyes him suspiciously.
"And what brings you to Botswana, Mr Gently?"
"As I have said, Mrs Jenkin's lost cat."
"Ah, so Mrs Jenkin lives close by? The name sounds English, and is not familiar to me."
"It is indeed, my observant friend, but Mrs Jenkin does not live locally, or in Moscow. she is still in England."
"Why are you here, then?"
"Mma Ramotswe, I gather from the manner of your questioning that you are not familiar with the fundamental interconnectedness of all things."
"Indeed I am not,Mr Gently. Please explain."
"It really is quite simple. When one traces back all aspects of reality to their roots one will find that they are all interconnected."
"Ah. so i suppose that you looking in my letterbox will somehow affect the clocks in Moscow you so devoutly follow?"
"Indeed, madam. You catch on rather quickly."
"How, may I ask, does this happen?"
"I have acquainted you the the matter of Mrs Jenkin's lost cat?"
"Yes."
"Well, I am in the very process of looking for this mysterious feline in all of the places that it is not. Hence, when I looked in this letterbox, it became, if only a fraction, more likely that it is nearby or, indeed, inside, one of the clocks in question. This fact has reduced the amount of energy that each electron in the said clock can borrow from the uncertainty principle, and, in the process, has completely distorted the fabric of reality."
"Do you mean to say that you are prepared to look in every place that the cat is not, until it is forced to appear in front of you?"
"Yes.
I am afraid that my clients do not give my level of dedication the respect it deserves. They often do not realise the necessity of a visit to the Louvre when their cat is lost somewhere in suburban London. But such is life, madam, and, as detectives, is it not our duty to plough on despite the ignorance of the public?"
"My method of detecting, Mr Gently, relies upon the awareness of the public, rather than its ignorance."
"And how do you find cats, madam?"
"I ask the neighbours if they have seen it."

Caloo! Calay! The Cataclysmic Hair-tie is Here!

Yay! Long weekend!
I cannot believe this is all the dark depths of my desolate mind can think of to write about...
note the alliteration...
But, alas, it is.
I often think, when I'm sitting at school 'learning' things I learned when I was five, that I would much rather be in London looking at a tube map. I know it is strange, but I would rather spend six hours a day doing this than listening to teachers talk. So, I have decided that I shall spend no more than 20% of my life being bored. Preferably less.
Do you know what my favourite word is? Cataclysmic. You can put it in front of anything and it makes it sound influential and inspiring (note the alliteration) ... for example, 'The Cataclysmic Miracle' 'The Cataclysmic Dawn' 'The Cataclysmic Hair tie'. The latter is perhaps a little strange, but it sounds a lot better than 'The Hair Tie that Changed My Life'.

New Post

I feel it is high time for a new post. Yet, as I search the tenebrous, frightening depths of my mind, I cannot find a single thing to write. This frightens me somewhat.
I know that Bridget said I should write about quantum physics, and yet... the book is so far away in the library that...

PING
little light bulb pops up above head

I need to book about quantum physics from Whitcouls with the Whitcouls voucher I won in the short story competition! Light has been thrown over the dark depths of my conscious, and I am inspired to resolve to get up of my chair! Joy!
So now that I have resolved to do this, the next step is to decide when... in 7 minutes, at 12:10. Once I get up I will ring up my friends about going on a bushwalk tomorrow, then ask mum wether she will take me to Bruce Mackenzies to buy my book (I think Whitcouls vouchers can be used there)... Oh, but what about my 'Mind' book which costs $70? I really want it! One time, I was brousing in Bruce Mackenzies and another lady picked it up and looked at it, I continued to look at the book I was reading, but I think I must have subconsciously given her a funny look or something, because she put the book down very quickly.

Only three minutes to go until the prophecy (that I will get off my chair) outrageous and far fetched as it is , will become manifest! (Is that the right use of manifest)?

How I do enjoy monologues, as one can happily debate and discuss with ones self without the hollow, inane rantings of elimbits and idiots interrupting one's chain of speech.

And alas, the clock has struck 12:10, and the prophecy shall be fulfilled.

Family Philosophy part II - I blog, therefore I am.

If a pig wants to be eaten, is it right to eat it?

Hi

I should think of something interesting to say eh, but I can't. Please use my words as fuel for our ridiculously long burning fire if it ever needs fuel. I wish we could find out how that fire picture burns for so long.0_o Hmm... Maybe... No!!! It can't be!! I just worked out how our fire picture burns for so long!! I think it's because.. IT'S A PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!! Pictures do not need fuel.

Family Philosophy

Philisophical question of the day;

Is anything so self-evident that it cannot be doubted?

Fireplace <3

:3
A fire to make us feel warmer (?) as we sit in the freezingness of the computer room...

What are some activities my hypothetical 45 year old aunt would like to do in Palmerston North?
How far from our house are they? (If you know? Because I doubt I will.)
Also, what should I name her? (Muahaha.)

Standing on chairs.

Why is standing on chairs so fun?
Why, I ask?
Is it because you are taller than everyone else?
Blink by Malcom Gladwell may have something to say about this...

It's also fun to be able to stretch one's calf muscles.

New blog!

Does mum have a gmail account?
If I make a new "skin" for this blog, what would you guys like on it? Colours? Themes?
I'll try to get photoshop going to make it, but paint shop pro should be fine too.
Post anything interesting you find and we can discuss it on comments.
Have a go at logging in and leaving a comment on this post if you're not sure how it works...
Welcome to we stand on chairs inc., also the home of the PWMT club (People With Moronic Teachers club) :D